Submissive Training – Lesson 1: Understand Your Sub

by Sir N

As a new Dom I’ve made many mistakes, one if biggest ones is not understanding what type of sub my wife was going to be or become, as she like me entered the BDSM lifestyle. By understanding what type sub you have you can more easily dominate them and more importantly help them grow, one of your prime roles as their Dom.

In my opinion there 3 types, these are most notable set out Peter Masters, a well know Dom and BDSM philosopher.

The Initial or Un-comitial Sexual Sub
This type of submissive is happy to submit provided it remains within their agreed limits. Their limits are normally hard and they do not want to have their limits pushed. Often their submission is driven by a want to achieve specific BDSM actions e.g. spanking or bondage. Simply put this sub never commits to fully giving up control.

The Intermediate or Committed Sub
This submissive has fully given control to her Dom or Master. This type of sub understands their submissive nature on a deeper level and less likely to battle with internal guilt or shame. They gain fulfilment for their submission and will not be looking achieve any specific goals. They will still have limits, some will remain hard limits, however they will also have soft limits which you can push (I will blog on this in the future). Finally I might add that this type of submissive can vary greatly in their experience, depth of submission, own fetishes and the length of time they may submit for in a given scene. They will most likely also enjoy some submission in non sexual settings.

The Unconditional Sub or Slave
This is a man or woman who is at piece with there submissive and happy to hand over control for large parts of their life include financial in some instances. They will take enjoyment in submission both sexual and non sexual over a long time period. Subs or Slaves in this context often are within a long term 24/7 D/s or M/s relationship or seeking one.
(Authors note, As I have never owned a Unconditional Sub or Slave the above description is a combination of many description I’ve read so far)

So above you have my thoughts on different submissive types, in my next submissive training blog post I’ll discuss how to help your better understand their submissive nature and become a better sub.